Dear Destiny…I Am Ready Now

Published October 23, 2011 by Jasmine

Since graduating law school and being sworn in as an attorney in 2006 I feel as though I have been treading water, and at times (more often than not) barely staying afloat. Thank goodness for family because without them I would have already drowned. At 32, my life isn’t anywhere close to where I imagined or might like it to be, but I trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be even if I don’t know why.

With that being said I want the universe to know, in no uncertain terms that I am ready…

To start swimming and stop treading water. I want to live life rather than just existing and watching it pass me by.

To know what my true purpose and calling is in life. I struggle with this daily. Here it is five years after graduating and I still haven’t found a job as an attorney. Yes, I have been working on having my own practice, but I am not entirely sure that is what I want either. I went to school to be a lawyer not a business woman. Although I love the freedom of being able to do things my way, I don’t enjoy marketing, bill collecting, and not having a steady income or benefits. I am beginning to wonder if the reason I haven’t found a job as an attorney is because it wasn’t the path I was meant to travel. This kind of breaks my heart because I can’t imagine being a licensed attorney and never practicing or getting to be in court. The one part about being an attorney that I do love is educating people.  I love educating myself, and it’s even better when I get a chance to share what I have learned with others. That is really rewarding for me. I also love motivating and inspiring others…and speaking (this is why I always wanted to be in court). I have always felt that I was destined to do something big with my life.  So I am ready to know what that is so that I can start saying “no” to all of the things that will keep me on the wrong track, and so I can start doing all of the things that will lead me to being the best of the best. I don’t want to be a jack of all trades master of none, I want to be the MASTER of one! So watch out world once I figure out my true calling and purpose, in time, I will be the best of the best.
To meet someone amazing. I have been single for so long, and I am okay with that because I am not willing to settle. I would love to meet someone to share my new found love of running and dancing with. Someone who will make today better than yesterday, but not as good as tomorrow will be. Someone who will turn the following into reality.
To show the world the strong, sexy, confident woman that resides on the inside, but isn’t always visible on the outside. I would like to think that at times I have a larger than life personality, and it’s great…but isn’t that what all the fat girls say, “well I have a great personality.” Well I really do, but I am so much more than that.
To be 100% committed to being strong, fit, and healthy. I can’t believe I have almost been running for a year. If you would have told me a couple years ago that I was going to have completed a half-marathon I would have laughed at you. I think when I told people of my running goals this year, they probably did laugh at me…especially the ones who knew me well. Little by little I am getting better, but the best is yet to come. I will be running my second half-marathon on Saturday. Again I haven’t been fully committed to training for it, but regardless of how I do it will still be fun.  My winter goal is to build a solid base of running without walking which will definitely be a mental challenge for me. I haven’t yet decided if I will do a marathon next year. I may just stick to half-marathons next year to get some good races under my belt as it would be nice to have those to draw upon while training for a marathon. I want my first marathon experience to be as awesome as my first half-marathon experience. I also am ready to focus on my nutrition. I need to learn to start eating to fuel my body rather than eating for the sake of eating. As with everything it is a learning process.
I am ready! I have put it all out there and now I need to quit worrying. I need to remember that it is in God’s hands now and everything will happen in his perfect timing! It probably wouldn’t hurt to remind myself of this daily:

2 comments on “Dear Destiny…I Am Ready Now

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