What is Strong?

I woke up this morning tired, sore, and I guess you could say weak. I knew I had 7.5 miles on the agenda, and honestly didn’t know how I was going to get it done. My quads (which are never sore) were sore from doing mountain climbers yesterday, and my calves were sore from doing hamstring curls on Thursday (how my calves are sore and hamstrings not, I have no idea!). My body was tired in general…prior to my long run I had completed 41.5 miles of cardio (running, walking, biking, stair climbing), and five days of strength training this week. I knew I had to do the run because I don’t have time to be “making up” a long run.  So I had to find my strong, put on my running gear, and get out the front door.

Since I seem to be injury prone I decided to start back running following the run/walk intervals in the Couch to 5k program.Today’s run was Week 6, Day 1 and was as follows: 5 minute run/3 minute walk/8 minute run/3 minute walk, repeated until I completed 7.5 miles. I always start with at least a half mile walking warm-up to get my body ready to run. Since starting this program nearly all of my run intervals have been in the 11-12:00 mpm range. My first run interval was 12:37 pace and I just didn’t know how I was going to make 7.5 miles. Based on my previous running this was an indication to me that my body was tired. I know you are all thinking this is her “long run” so the pace doesn’t matter, it is supposed to be slow. My rational side knows that, but irrational side seems to think that every long run should get faster than the last. I know that is not realistic, but I also know there is a difference between intentionally going slow and going slow because that is the fastest your body will move! I came to terms with the fact that this was just going to be a slower run, and reminded myself that it didn’t matter if I was running a 14 minute mile or a 7 minute mile, it was still a mile. I had to be proud that I was out doing something that many able-bodied individuals refuse to do because it is too much work. Damn right it’s a lot of work, and I would have much rather stayed in bed today but it wasn’t going to get me results.

I kept running, and wouldn’t you know it my pace eventually improved! They weren’t all great, but I still had it in me to be in the 11-12:00 mpm range. My running paces were as follows: 12:37, 12:19, 11:48, 11:49, 11:14, 11:56, 12:08, 11:54, 12:00, 12:31, and 11:43. The best part about today’s run is that I finally felt like I was finding my groove. It’s not always there, and may not even last an entire run interval but I found it! I’ll suddenly find myself running and just feel like I am in the zone, and it seems effortless. It’s is such a great feeling, and I look forward to spending more time with this new found friend.

I can definitely tell that I am becoming stronger and more fit. This time around I am really focusing on cross/strength training, and really feel it is making significant difference. One of the biggest indicators is my heart rate. I went back today and looked at my average HR for both the 10 mile and half-marathon I did this past October, and they were 170 and 171. Granted both of those races were a bit further than I ran today, but my average HR today was 156! I finally feel like things are coming together and I am on a good path. I am really happy with where I am at right now, considering I have been dealing with minor injuries since last July. I feel like I am in a really good place. I still have 8.5 weeks until the half-marathon, and can’t wait to see how much stronger and faster I can get in that time.

I have been working really hard. There are days when it is not easy, but the rewards are priceless. Strong is: perseverance; persistence; knowing when to let go and when to hold on; being fearless; doubting your limits; having confidence; pushing your limits; and what’s left when you’ve used up all your weak. Above all else, strong is a choice that you make every day!

Amazing People Do Not JUST Happen

In the past couple weeks I have watched the following running movies: Without Limits, Prefontaine, and Ultramarathon Man. If you are a runner, I would recommend all three of them. If you are not a runner, you must watch them. They are a remarkable tribute to the human spirit and mind. Our bodies are capable of doing so much more than we can even conceive. After watching these two men, Steve Prefontaine and Dean Karnazes, you will be inspired to go out and run, even if only for one minute at a time.  And I promise you, it will be the most empowering thing you have ever done for yourself.

I think one of my biggest take away’s from these movies is that it’s not about the destination, it’s really about the journey. I think anyone who has crossed a finish line can attest to this. It’s about all the hard work you put in to get to that finish line…the sweat, the tears, long runs, short runs, early morning runs, and rest days. You learn a lot about yourself and the limits of the human body. When you reach the point where you literally have nothing left to give or you have reached your pain threshold this is where you learn your true strength…are you going to give up or push to the finish. Dean Karnazes said it best,

Run if you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must. Just never give up.

This isn’t just a metaphor for running, but a metaphor for life. When you stop moving forward, you stagnate, and when you stagnate you die. So you must do whatever you have to do to keep moving forward. The sad thing is there are so many out there who by all accounts and purposes are alive, but really they are dead because they stopped moving forward. Running, like life, is hard but it is in the struggles where you define yourself.

I encourage you to get out there and take that first step because it will literally change your life for the better. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. Like Nike says, “Just do it! Even if you suck!” You will get better, and it will get easier…one step, one day, one mile at a time.

 

 

My Big Decision

After much deliberation I have decided to end my law practice as a solo practitioner. This does not mean that I no longer want to be an attorney, just not a solo attorney. I have been struggling with this over the last year, and the decision is bittersweet. It makes me a little sad because I am giving up the one thing that was truly mine. At the same time, I feel that a huge weight has been lifted off me now that a decision has been made. I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I needed to be. I am excited about the future, the possibilities and potential that it holds.

I don’t know what the future holds. I do know that I want to be doing something that gets me so fired up that I can’t wait to jump out of bed in the morning, excited to take on the day. Although I have not given up on being a practicing attorney, I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that it is okay if I am not a practicing attorney. A law degree can take you in so many directions. I think I have been holding myself back by believing the preconceived notion that if I wasn’t a practicing attorney then law school was a waste. I also felt like I would be letting everyone down who believed in me. Somehow at 3:00 a.m. this morning I realized the only person I need to worry about is me. AM I HAPPY? I wasn’t happy, and as soon as I made that decision I was excited and happy. Excited that I could finally move on, and find my true passion and place in this world. Happy that I could let go, and know that it would be okay, that I am not a failure.

I am excited to spend some time revamping my resume, and then showing the world what they have been missing! I have been thinking of possibly becoming POST certified as my undergraduate degree is a B.A. in Criminal Justice…I wanted to be a police officer. I have a potential lead into the FBI, which is a position I have always wanted (although I am not holding my breath)! I will also be looking into positions at the BCA. I am applying for a community relations specialist/crime analyst position that I am really excited about…it combines three of my passions: crime, educating, and public speaking!

I am really excited about the future. I have a lot of soul searching and research to do. What ever I end up doing, I want to be the best of the best. Mediocrity is not for me. I don’t know what the future holds. What I do know is:

It’s Been Awhile

It’s been awhile since I last posted anything. Since my last post something has happened. I’m not sure what. I’m not sure when. I just know that I haven’t been myself. I feel as though I have checked out, and I have lost my passion and drive for just about everything. It’s a scary feeling. In the last month or so…

In less than a month I will be 33. Not one part of my life is where I imagined it would be at the age of 33. I already declared that 2012 is going to be the year of JASMINE! So I guess it is time to change things up because what I have been doing the last 32 years hasn’t been working.

I have no idea what kind of life God has planned for me, all I can do is trust that He knows what He is doing.  I am so ready to have the man of my dreams, the job of my dreams, the life of my dreams. I have the unlimited, God-given potential to be, do, or have anything I want in life. The problem is…I don’t know what any of those things are. I feel like my life is in constant chaos, and what I need to do is just stop and take time to reflect on what it really is that I want. Over the last month I have even been questioning whether I want to be an attorney. I feel lost. On the flip side I think I would feel like a failure if I took a job where I wasn’t practicing law…I mean that is what I went to school for right? What I incurred all my debt for! I just need to…

I know that I love…learning, public speaking, motivating, inspiring, and educating others. Whether this is in an attorney capacity or not I feel as though this is what I am meant to do. Due to experiences in my own personal life (not necessarily my experiences), I feel drawn to the addiction, mental health, and physical health areas. I want to motivate, inspire, and educate people struggling in these areas. I want them to know that all is not lost, and there is always hope. As I stated before I wish I had a crystal ball to show me exactly what I am supposed to be doing with my life. If anyone reading this has ideas, suggestions, or know of any careers in these areas please let me know. If you don’t know of any, please repost this so that maybe someone out there can guide me in the right direction. I feel like I am settling with my life right now, and maybe that is why I have lost my passion.

I have always felt that I am destined to do BIG things with my life. I just wish that I knew what! I do know that opportunities do not knock, they stand by silently waiting for us to recognize them. Maybe I need a clearer vision.  Maybe my opportunities have been right in front of me, and I am not recognizing them for what they are.

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. ~ M. Scott Peck

People often think blessings come in the form of nicely wrapped perfect square boxes, but often they come disguised as wrecking balls meant to crumble the world you know so you can rebuild your life with a new foundation of faith and trust. Sometimes we have to be knocked down so we can grow to greater heights. ~ Jon Gordon

Maybe this last month has been my wrecking ball, which is forcing me to search for answers. What I do know is that I don’t want to be at this same place a year from now. So I sure hope that…

My saving grace through this last month is that I was finally able to start running again. There is something very comforting, cathartic, and healing about running. It’s always just you and your thoughts; a great way to clear your head. Running seems to have a way to make me forget about everything else, even if it is only for 30 minutes. In life and in running, the journey is as important as the destination. The only thing that is ultimately real about the journey is the step I am taking right now. That’s all there ever is.

Thanks for reading, and being part of my crazy journey called LIFE!

           

Embracing Change…and Loving It!

When it comes to running, fitness and nutrition it doesn’t seem like a whole lot has been going right since this past summer. I ran my first half-marathon which was fantastic, but after that everything seemed to go downhill. My left IT band was so tight that I could barely run a mile without excruciating pain in my knee. I got that IT band loosened up just in time to run the Twin Cities 10 Mile, and the Monster Dash Half-Marathon later that month. Neither run was good. In fact, I had to limp that last 1.5 miles of the Monster Dash because my right IT band was so tight I could barely walk. During this time, a part of me really felt like giving up, maybe I wasn’t meant to be a runner. I stopped running and kept up the foam rolling, but my leg wasn’t getting any better. I had done all I could do, and it was time to see the chiropractor. Not only was my IT band tight, my entire leg from my glutes to my calf was a tight mess. Everything was so tight, it was actually pinching a nerve and causing the outside of my foot to go numb when I would run. It was also causing limited range of motion due to the tightness in my hips. According to the chiropractor, I have sticky (stubborn) fibers. The prescription…no running, no biking, no stair climbing, no weight lifting, and no high impact workouts. I was left with swimming, pilates, yoga, and light walking.  In addition to all of this, I had become complacent with my eating. I was no longer tracking calories, eating a lot of sweets, and eating out a lot at work. Between losing my aerobic capacity, not burning any calories, and eating too many calories I gained back weight I had worked so hard to lose earlier in the year. Since nothing was going right, it was time for me to go LEFT!

Beginning in December, I decided I was going to start making small, manageable changes. My two goals for the month of December were: 1) take the stairs, rather than the elevator, at the parking garage; and 2) I could only have my Starbucks/Caribou every other day. I am proud to say that I stuck with these changes, and it was pretty easy. After about a week, I forgot that the elevator was even there. If people were getting on the elevator, I would make it a little game and try to beat them up or down! I still do this today.

I have a lot of goals for the New Year, but decided to take them month by month. One of my biggest nutritional goals was to increase my protein and fiber intake.  My goal is to average 100 grams of protein a day, and 25 grams of fiber. I also decided to cut gluten out of my diet six days a week. I allow myself one cheat day which is usually Fridays…I get to eat things I don’t know/can’t find the nutrition information for, and I get to eat gluten on this day as well. My fitness goal was to start yoga and pilates, and continue with the stretches from the chiropractor so that I could loosen up my muscles and regain proper range of motion. (I had decided back in December that I was going to stop running until the end of March in the hopes of being injury free!)

With those goals in mind, January has been an AWESOME month! In the last three weeks, I have averaged eating 100.73 grams of protein, 22.1 grams of fiber, and have lost 1.26 pounds per week! I have felt AMAZING! The amount of sugar I am consuming has been drastically reduced due to the protein, and I almost always feel full.  I am no longer tired during the day, and seem to be sleeping better at night. I have continued taking the stairs. In fact, today I had a woman hold the elevator for me.  It felt really good to tell her, “thanks, but I am taking the stairs.” It felt even better when I got down the stairs the same time she was getting off the elevator.  I have also cut my Starbucks/Caribou down to three days a week this month.

I am a pretty strong person, but last week I had someone tell me that losing a little over three pounds in three weeks was not impressive. I was already having a bad day that day, and that really hurt. I’m not trying to impress anyone other than myself. I know that losing one to two pounds a week is a healthy weight loss, so I am right on the track and quite proud of myself!

In the nearly four years that I have been a member at Lifetime Fitness I have never gone to a group fitness class. I have never really been a fan of them for a few reasons: 1) I am a really independent person and don’t need a group to get me motivated; 2) When I go to the gym, it is my time to zone out, I don’t really want to have to think about what I am doing; 3) Even though I don’t adhere to it, I feel like there is an expectation that you have to keep up with the group (this isn’t realistic when you are new to a class); 4) Group classes are always on someone else’s time. I want to go the gym when I want to go.

I finally went to my first group fitness class this month…yoga. It was definitely harder than I thought it was going to be, but so worth it. I went back the next week as well. I missed this last Sunday, but went to my first Pilates class the day before.  I really liked Pilates. I was actually surprised that I was able to do as much as I did. Although my core and lower back need a lot of work, they were stronger than I thought they were! This past Monday I went to my fourth group fitness class, which was a core class. I really enjoyed that as well.

The best part of all of this is that I can tell my body is slowly loosening up, and it feels so good. I thought I was relatively flexible prior to trying yoga and Pilates! Boy was I surprised. After only two yoga sessions, one Pilates session, and continuously doing the stretches recommended by the chiropractor I am already feeling like my range of motion is getting better! I LOVE IT! I can only imagine how great I am going to feel by the end of March when I start back with the running, assuming I am free from injury. If you have not tried yoga I definitely recommend it, especially if you are a runner!

I have made a lot of changes in the past two months, and have really embraced those changes.  I love how I feel and I love the person I am becoming. I am cooking, attending group fitness classes, taking the stairs, passing up some of my favorite treats/pastries (and the worst part is they are free to me at work!), and every day becoming more disciplined than I was the day before. I have definitely been stepping out of my comfort zone, and I love it!!

Don’t ever forget this! Those small choices, repeated day in and day out, will eventually become second-nature. Make small steps daily toward your vision. You may not notice the change now, but over time it will be undeniable. This is also known as the compound effect.

After 31 days, months, or years the person who uses the positive nature of the compound effect appears to be an overnight success.  In reality his/her success was the result of small, smart choices, completed consistently over time. ~ Darren Hardy

If you like to read and want to know more about this, I highly recommend Darren’s book The Compound Effect.

My First Date With Yoga…I Think This Is Going To Be a Love-Hate Relationship

I have been meaning to give yoga and pilates a try for quite some time. The problem is I have never been very fond of group fitness classes, and there were always other workouts to be done.  That is until my trip to the chiropractor two weeks ago. Besides the IT band problem that I knew about, it turns out the muscles in my legs were so tight that I needed to essentially tear them to get them to stretch back out. This meant that I was limited to yoga, pilates, swimming, walking, or upper body strength training. If there was ever a time to try yoga or pilates, this was it! I had two sessions tentatively scheduled in my planner last week and didn’t make it to either of them. I really didn’t want to go today, but I knew that I needed to start the week off right and get back on track with my workouts.

I got there early to get a spot in the back of the room.  Since I was a newbie I certainly didn’t want anyone watching me. Of course, I ended up right next to a svelte, muscle-toned woman who was a pro when it came to yoga! Turned out that she could care less what I was doing, and it was kind of nice to be next to her to see how the poses were “really” supposed to be done!!

As the class is about to being the instructor tells us that it is going to get a little warmer in the room (I thought HOT yoga was last week!). This didn’t bode well for me as I was in long sleeves…and yes, I was dripping sweat after 15 minutes. What was most embarrassing was the only other person I saw sweating was the only male in the room. This was a Vinyasa style yoga…doesn’t mean much to me, but for those who practice I am sure it does. I think one of the biggest things was the focus on breathing. Apparently, throughout the entire class you are supposed to be breathing in and out solely out of your nose. That did not happen. She would tell us to deeply inhale….then deeply exhale. By the time she told us to exhale, I think I had probably inhaled and exhaled at least five times…through my mouth!!

This was definitely way more than I bargained for, and definitely more intense than I thought it would be. Yoga requires a good deal of balance which is something I don’t have, and being 65 pounds overweight doesn’t help any. After 15 minutes, I was ready to pick up my mat and go. I felt like it was too hard, I didn’t know what I was doing, and I couldn’t keep up. As much as I wanted out of that room, I new if I left I’d be a quitter. I told myself that even if I never came back to this class I needed to stick it out this one time.  Then I made it to 30 minutes, and again I just wanted to leave.  I was profusely sweating, since I refused to go barefoot my shoes were ripping shreds out of my yoga mat, I couldn’t keep up, and truthfully I was tired of hearing it was time to return to downward dog. But I was halfway there and I refused to be a quitter. It was after this point that the flow slowed down a bit, and we started doing some stretches that I liked (note: that doesn’t mean I could do them all that well.)

I made it through the whole hour.  It wasn’t pretty. I’m sure my form was terrible. I took breaks that others didn’t take. But I FINISHED. I honestly think that was one of the hardest things I have done. It certainly felt more difficult than a half-marathon, and it only took a third of the time.

I think part of the reason that it seemed so hard is that it was my first time. I prepared for my half-marathons.  There was no preparation for this. It made me realize that I am not as strong or as flexible as I thought I was.

I’m glad that I stayed, because my body needs yoga. I think it is going to work wonders for opening up my hips and increasing my range of motion. It is going to help stretch, strengthen, and lengthen my muscles. And for that one hour a week it is going to bring me a calm and peace that I don’t otherwise have. I’m glad it is on a Sunday evening as it will be a great start to my week.

After the class I spoke to the instructor and all of my concerns were valid concerns of a new comer. After I explained to her the issues (IT band/tight muscles) she told me this was the best yoga class of the ones offered, especially because of the slightly heated room. She told me in time when my body gets used to what I am doing my breathing will slow down, and I will eventually feel like I know what I am doing.

I definitely felt relaxed and serene when the class ended.  I will try again next week. Before then I think I will purchase some yoga socks so I don’t continue to rip apart my mat with my shoes, and I will definitely dress more appropriate for the temperature. Next week probably won’t be very pretty either, and I am sure at some point I will want to quit.  I imagine that just like running, every time you do it, it will get a little easier.

Happy New Year!

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin–real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that those obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment that you have and remember that time waits for no one.

I’ve decided that I have let “real life” pass me by for far too long.  No more simply existing for this lady…I am ready to live it up in 2012!

Happiness is a journey, not a destination… ~Souza  

I wish all of you health, happiness AND

I Own You!

It is amazing how much control little things can have in your life when fear is involved.

Since I have started training with Christian Peterson he has had me doing CrossFit workouts.  So I far I have really loved them as they are high intensity but only last about 15 minutes.  I just don’t have the time right now to be spending hours in the gym. On the agenda for this week were box jumps.

Now I have seen people do these in the gym and I have seen Biggest Loser contestants do them. They terrify me. There are not a lot of things I am afraid of, but these are one of those things. SCARED TO DEATH!

My sister wanted to work out with me yesterday but she didn’t have any boxes for us to do the box jumps.  So we improvised, we decided to use the bottom step. This was still terrifying to me. My sister made it look effortless, but she is almost 100 pounds lighter than me. She told me to just put my feet together and jump! It worked! I was able to do three sets of ten. I had conquered my fear…sort of.

I went to the gym today determined to do an actual box jump. So I grabbed the box and took it into the studio so nobody would see me if I made a fool of myself!

I just could not get myself to jump. The fear was taking over.  I don’t know exactly what the fear is, but I think it is the fact that the box is a very small platform to land on and I am afraid of it moving as I jump on it. Although the step is also a small platform, I was certain it wasn’t going to move.

There was actually a step in the studio and I had no problem doing thirty jumps up onto the step.  I decided to bring the box over by the step to see how much higher the box was.

As you can see the box is not substantially higher than the step, but it is higher. I literally stood in front of this box for thirty minutes trying to gather the courage to just JUMP! Everytime I tried, I couldn’t move. I told myself I was not leaving the gym until I had jumped at least once. I even started tearing up because I was so angry that I was letting this little box take over my day.  How could something so little cause so much fear?

I don’t know how I was finally able to do it, but I DID IT! Being the emotional person that I am, I actually started to cry. The box didn’t move, and I didn’t make a fool of myself. I could finally go home. But I didn’t. I did four more, having to stop to gather the courage before each one. After I had done five, I told myself I needed to try to do five consecutively which I did.  Then I did ten more consecutive jumps!! I started out being afraid to even jump, and by the time I went home I had done 20 jumps! This was after riding 15.83 miles on the bike!

My fear is conquered…well at least until next time!

My Love Affair

This love affair of mine has been going on for as long as I can remember, and I don’t foresee it ending anytime soon. It makes me happy, it makes me smile, and it makes me feel good (but this feeling is usually short-lived). I know that this love affair is wrong, it goes against everything I am trying to accomplish, but I can’t help myself. As much as others tell me it is bad for me, and I need to end it, I can’t. It won’t end until I am ready, regardless of what others think or say, regardless of whether it is right or wrong. It honestly sometimes makes me sick to my stomach, but I still can’t end it.

I wish I could say this love affair was with a gorgeous man, but unfortunately I am still looking for him. My love affair is with sugar, especially candy! A friend of mine has told me that I have an emotional attachment to sugar, I prefer to call it a love affair. I love candy, I love cookies, I love sweets!

I realize this love affair is a huge obstacle to me losing weight. As a challenge, I did give up sugar and starches for an entire month. During this time the weight came off really quick, but it wasn’t a realistic change for me. The one thing I can say about that month was that I felt AMAZING! When I cut out sugar, white flour, and starches I basically inadvertantly cut out gluten (for the most part). Quite honestly I felt the best I can ever remember feeling. The saddest part about that last statement is that wasn’t even enough to get me to stop eating sugar. The fact that I know I could feel the best that I have in my entire life if I quit eating sugar, and that is not enough for me to actually do it leads me to believe there probably is some emotional aspect to it. I have no idea what it might be, but awareness is the first step, right?

I have to come to terms with the fact that my weight loss will be slower than it could be if I gave up sugar, but I’m not ready to give up sugar. I like my mocha, my lattes, my candy, and my Christmas cookies! Maybe someday I will be ready, but not today. My real problem with candy is that I tend to be a binge eater. For instance, I had one of my favorite things tonight…Ghiradelli Peppermint Bark with Dark Chocolate.  It’s one of those bars that has eight individual squares…instead of eating one or two squares, I ate the entire bar. For me, moderation has no meaning when it comes to sugar. This needs to be my new mantra:

Do you have a love affair with sugar? If so, any tips or tricks on how you deal with it?

I do have to say that my eating is better than it was two to three years ago, but there is a lot of room for improvement. I need to find a happy medium because life is too short to not enjoy the things you love!

Monster Dash Half-Marathon 2011

So tired, but I have so much I want to say about this race. Before I begin I would like to thank each and every one of you who are reading this. Thank you for taking the time to read it, thank you for following me on my journey, and thank you for motivating me. Over the last six to seven months I have met some really amazing people.  When times got rough today I thought of all the amazing people I have met, the kind words they have shared with me, and the motivation and love they have for running.

As for the race in general, I think they hyped it up too much. It definitely wasn’t as fun as I was expecting it to be. The best part was seeing everyone in their costumes! No costume for me, but I did buy a new pink running jacket. I also bought some knee high black socks with skulls on them! I thought I looked pretty cute, but I will definitely be thinking of a fun creative costume for next year!

I lined up pretty much at the very back because I had originally planned on walking the first mile to warm-up my shins.  That didn’t happen…I tried! The good news was that I had no pain with my shins! I am going credit this to my knee high skull socks.  I think they kind operated like a pair of compression socks, just not as tight! They were awesome and they kept my legs warm. Definitely think I will be investing in a real pair of compression socks…must find them in pink (my signature color)!

The first half of the race was amazing and I felt great. I was on track to beat my first half-marathon time. My first half was slow but steady, my only goal was to finish. I secretly wanted to finish in under three hours, which I did…2:57:06! So I had a lot of room for improvement. My average pace that race was 13:32 per mile.  My first seven miles were faster than that pace…13:05, 13:03, 12:41, 12:46, 12:26, 13:05, and 12:49.  I was pumped! I even stopped during the third mile to stretch and talk with my mom for a minute or so. Then all of the sudden I just felt so tired. This could be due to a number of things: not enough sleep, poor nutrition, poor hydration, and minimal training and stretching of my muscles. I know for a fact that I was dehydrated as I didn’t go to the bathroom until 2:00 this afternoon which was six hours after going before the race, and it was yellow! Not so good. I didn’t bring my hydration pack with me this time, nor did I stop at the first two water stops…I didn’t want to have to stop to use the bathroom.

So things started to go downhill in the middle of mile seven. I think I went out too fast the first half. My mile times are an average of my walking and running. My running pace was anywhere from 9:30 per mile to 11:30 per mile. I think this was a little too fast for me, especially for the first half. This winter I really need to work on maintaining a steady pace, among other things…such as running without walking!

This course was a ten mile and half-marathon combined. So when I came upon mile ten part of me was thinking it would be really nice to be done now, and the other part of me was thinking I only have a 5k left, you can do this! Also, at mile ten I finally found a first aid station. I had been watching for one for a couple of miles as I had some chafing going on! I needed some Vaseline. I had applied Body Glide I guess I just didn’t use enough!   At mile ten I knew I had to finish in less than 47 minutes to beat my previous time.  I was still feeling optimistic at this point because I knew I could do three miles in less than 47 minutes. Turns out those last three miles actually took me 49 minutes.

Shortly after the last water stop at mile 11.5, my hopes seemed to be crushed. My entire right side: lower back, hip, glutes, hamstring, and my knee were in incredible pain with every step I took. Then because I was running funny because I was hurting my calf and foot started cramping up. I was pretty sure it was my IT band that had tightened up, as the pain was very similar to what I had experienced earlier this summer when I had issues with my right IT band. I was devastated, disappointed, and in tears. I had been on track the entire run, and now a mile and a half from the finish I felt like I could barely move. Part of me just wanted to give up on beating my previous time, but the competitive side of me still thought I could pull it off. Mile 11.5 to 12 seemed to take forever because it was uphill…talk about hitting you when you are down.  I was not expecting this hill, and it was the larger of two unexpected hills in the second half. I walked slowly, this mile was my slowest at 15:40.

At mile 12 I still thought maybe, just maybe I could pull it off. I was over the hill and it was pretty much flat to the finish. I was trying to run, but felt more like I was hopping! I’m sure I was a sight to see. It was probably around 12.75 miles or so that I realized I wasn’t going to make it. So I just walked. I saw my mom around mile 13, and started crying again.  She told me she figured I was hurt because I was walking.  She walked with me a few steps, and then I tried to run across the finish line.

(My mom and I. I was running and she dressed up! I look pregnant here as my pockets are stuffed with gloves, Gatorade, my phone, and some Kleenex.)

My watch actually measured the course at 13.22, and the last .22 my pace was only 17:15…I was barely moving! I was just so happy to be done. I must have looked like I was in pain, because I was immediately approached and asked if I needed medical help. All I really wanted was some Ibuprofen and water! All they had to drink were some flimsy little cups of water that they had along the race course! Are you kidding me? I just finished 13 miles and all you have is a half-filled cup of water for me to drink! The only thing they had to eat was a banana, which I ate about half of because it wasn’t even ripe. Maybe they had more for the early finishers, but they knew how many were running so they had no excuse not to have enough for everybody. The two things I liked about the race were the cool medal and tech jacket I received!

I received a lot of encouragement and support yesterday from friends and family, and I am incredibly grateful for that. One of my friends told me that I was a winner when I got to the start line, and that is absolutely true. Most people won’t even make it that far! So finishing, regardless of my time, is a true accomplishment. On the way home my mom had said my time didn’t matter, even if I had walked the entire 13 miles, that would have been an accomplishment. She asked me, “how many people do you know that even go out and walk 13 miles?” So true.  I am just a really competitive person, even though I am only competing against myself. I just feel that I should have improved since my first half in July, and that was not evident in the 10 mile earlier this month or this half.  I have to remember that not every race will be great, some of them are meant to be learning experiences.

As disappointed as I was feeling yesterday, I am actually really proud of myself. I ended up finishing in 2:59:48.  Yay, for finishing in under three hours! It is kind of disturbing to think people finish a marathon in less time than it takes me to finish a half, but I am not competing against them…I am only competing against myself. My first half-marathon finish was 2:57:06.  It only took me 2:42 longer this time around and I stopped to talk to my mom for close to a minute early in the run, I stopped at the first aid station around mile 10, and I was injured and walked the last mile and a half! Had I not gotten hurt I would have had a great run with a new PR! Even though I didn’t get a PR, I finished!

Yesterday I couldn’t figure out how I had incurred a new IT band injury in my right leg, but I didn’t have any issues with the pre-existing one in my left leg. I  must have been thinking about it in my sleep because I woke up in the middle of the night and it all made sense. For most of the course I tried to stay on the right hand side because I am slower and I do take walk breaks. Well for the first three to five miles there was a very small slope in the road.  I have no doubt that this is what caused the issue with my right leg. I was even cognizant of it while I was running. I kept thinking I needed to move more to the middle of the road so I could be on more even terrain. A lesson learned!

This year has been quite the journey. I just started running at the end of January.  Since July I have run a 5k, a 10 mile race, and two half-marathons. My original goal was a marathon, and that is yet to come…maybe next year! I have done things I never thought I would be able to do. I have come realize that I am STRONG and I am not a QUITTER!